New Year's Wish

Don't do anything I wouldn't do tonight ladies and gents!

Yeah the world should revolve around me...

This is my theme song for this new year, 2009. Once you listen to it, you will understand. I spend most of my day putting other people first. This year is MY year to make it what I want it to be! I think everyone should make this their theme song....

The sexiest woman alive!

She is by far the most inspiring person on the planet, next to my family. I have been listening to her for YEARS and YEARS and every new album, I buy right away. I haven't been able to see her in concert yet, but I LOVE listening to her voice. She is so soothing and puts your soul at ease. 

If I died tomorrow....

So something to put out there, if by strange consequence, you died tomorrow, what would others say at your funeral or gathering? To answer my own question, I don't know. Beyond the "she was a sweet girl, kind girl, blah blah blah" would anyone truely miss me? I know of two people, but does that make for an impact on the world. I'm not trying to change the world, I am simply trying to change me to better suit and help the world. Speaking a name into existence means never letting that person truely die. Would I be dead or would I transcend by having someone who cares enough about me to speak me into existence every once and a while? I guess it all boils down to would anyone care? I guess I am just missing my dad is all...

Totally random question...

So I have a question to all the black lesbians out there. I was randomly searching through this website and seeing who lives in Chicago, DC, or Indianapolis and I realized that a large population of studs/doms/ Aggressives/Bois or (whatever terminology you personally use) are proud parents. I have a friend who differs with me on this opinion so I wanted feedback from all of you. She says it is because aggressive women are much more prone to try and please their family for a short period of time by dating/ sleeping with men, and then end up pregnant. I TOTALLY beg to differ on that, but what are your thoughts? Is is hard to raise a child and be a stud?

So....

Love is a many splendored thing.... WHATEVER! Love sucks and I hate it. Why should anyone care about what I do, and why on earth should I care so much about another person's every single movement of everyday? Are we crazy to love as hard as we do? Animals don't usually love the way that we do, and few animals in the world are super-monogamous. Animals like the Black Swan are completely monogamous. The will only find someone else to snuggle up with if their original partner has died. But most animals are monogamous for the moment. Penguins are monogamous just long enough to get knocked up, and then they retreat. Granted the getting knocked up part would be a little hard for me (unless there is some new machine that can do that for me) but I wouldn't mind the retreat. What am I saying... I am hopelessly in love and you can't really fight that....

speaking of family....

Ok so I know I am a smart *ss (buy a vowel) but this Christmas, I really missed my family. My brother and his wife are my favorite part of going home to AZ an I miss them dearly. My sister-in law (I hate that last part. If she was crazy enough to marry into my family, then I should drop the "in law") and I haven't had the chance to get to know each other very well yet. I had a hard time buying her Christmas gift because I don't know what she even likes, which is just wrong and sad. Especially since she is the sweetest chick ever and puts up with my brother's massive amount of sh*t. My brother and I have this love/ hate/ love thing going on and I wouldn't trade it for the world. It took us a long, LONG time to get there, so nothing will change my relationship with him. Unfortunately, he hasn't gotten to know me very well over the last 8 years or so, because I always run away. Why? Who knows. If I knew, I guess they would pay me the big bucks.... lol

Feelin warm and cozy....

Merry Christmas, Joyous Kwanzaa, Feliz Navidad, and Happy Hannukah!

This new year is creeping up on us, and it's supposed to be a hard one, so here are some of my favorite inspiration quotes to get you thinking about this new year coming:

I'm a real rebel with a cause.

Do not call for black power or green power. Call for brain power.
-- Barbara Jordan

Be black, shine, aim high.

-- Leontyne Price

Freedom is never given; it is won.
-- A. Philip Randolph 

One of my favorite songs by Amel Larrieux:

Little friend are you blue are you not like them at all?
when you bend to fit the box are too big or too small?
do you lie to yourself to make others comfortable? 
or do you hide who you are cause it's unacceptable?

Every hour, every minute, every moment happens just once

Every human never repeated every lifetime happens just once....

Pride...

So I am not happy because I realized that Pride here in Indy is really REALLY small compared to D.C. As lovely as this city is, I kind of feel isolated from all that is good in the "family". So this year, I have decided to take a trip to a pride festival, possibly somewhere other than D.C. ( to my folks in DC, I still love you!) So, help me decide folks. Give me a black Pride somewhere and tell me why I should go to that city and that pride. What makes black pride in your city better than anywhere else? The city with the most votes will win! 

Proposition 8

So I have a friend who told me not to worry about prop 8 and its outcome because I don't live in California. WHAT? Now I understand activism and working locally to affect global change, but why would I not care? Who knows my future? Who says that I couldn't be in California in a few years (besides the housing market)? I am so tired of the GLBTQ community just taking seconds and not stepping up to the plate.

 What affected change in race relations was that people EVERYWHERE were fed up. Why can't I be fed up too? When Rosa, Malcolm, Medgar, Bayard, and others stood up and inspired every other black person to stand up, it was heralded as an event in american history. 

I actually have friends who say that will NEVER happen with the GLBTQ community. I say, why not? If f*cking George Bush can steal an election, if Scooter Libby can be pardoned, and if we can wage a war for no reason other than revenge, than why can't the GLBTQ community stand up? My mother taught me that the fun comes after the hard work, but not in the GLBTQ community. We always want to party and never want to show up the next day for even simple empowering work, like AIDS awareness. Why? 

I think we are scared. We are scared to go to jail, to be blacklisted, to have our lives (as comfortable or uncomfortable as they are) be upset in anyway. This mentality of fear has to go. Where Daisy Bates, Ernest Green, and Thelma Mothershed scared when they walked into Little Rock High School for the first time? Hell yeah they were. Did their fear paralyze them? Not a chance. I am not waiting anymore, I plan to step up now....

It is always bad weather...

Today is nice and ICY outside and it took about 15 minutes to scrape all the ice off my car. They even closed my job and told everyone to leave, since the ice was getting dangerous. What is usually a minute walk to my car took almost 5 minutes, as until this afternoon I had never been ice-skating. I can tell you judging by this afternoon, I will never strap on an ice skate to my feet. I think I will stick to my Nike's and stilettos. 

Lazy day at work....

Today has been one of the most quiet days at work. Christmas at the Zoo is usually packed with folks but I guess being literally one degree outside has caused most people to stay home. Who can blame them? I feel like I am being Punk'd by god everytime I go outside....

So I have been asked to post this....

I have gotten a request to respond to the question "How do you know if you are a lesbian? Lawd... how do you respond to that.... If you are questioning that, then ask yourself lyricallyblue's simple questionnaire to knowing your sexuality.





Question #1) Do you catch yourself looking at another girl's body and saying to yourself "Damn she is really cute."

• I used to do this alot. Then I would convince myself that I was looking at her outfit or her body as a guide to what I wanted to look like.

Question #2) Do you go to gay events or spend alot of time with other folks who are "family"?

• I actually joined a teen gay group before I came out to myself. It was hilarious trying to convince my friends that I wanted to just be supportive of them.

Question#3) Are your friends gay? Not do you have a gay friend but are ALL your friends gay?Do you gravitate towards gay folks?

• This one is my little important question, cause it seems like when folks come out, it turns out that their friends are gay also. My best friend and I came out to each other about the same time. I had always figured he was gay and I knew that he would tell me in his own time, but I know he probably felt the same about me. And actually 3 out of the 4 folks that I was close to at the time all came out within 6 months.

Question #4) Who do you fantasize about during that moment (don't act like you don't know what I mean when I say THAT moment lol)?

• Ok be honest, who hasn't watched late night HBO or Showtime. You know you have seen those "after dark" films. I used to watch them in high school. Who do you look at? Which one do you watch? If you are watching the girls, not with admiration but with lust, then your kinda gay.

Question #5) Who do you honestly see yourself with in the future?

• As a kid, I never played house. When I did, it was me being the "husband" and taking care of my best friend. I was never attracted to guys EVER. But I thought that would come in time. When I thought about the future, I never even considered marrying a guy and had resigned myself to being alone. Or with a girl....
  

Start to ask yourself those questions and eventually the answer will come to you...

What's it all about anyway?

So today I was watching CNN and as they replayed the recent shoe throwing incident with President Bush, it made me think. What has the world come to that we start throwing shoes? Honestly, shoes? Words and phrases are never enough, and shooting someone is too much, but shoes is not the best route either. And fascinating enough, he was able to throw BOTH shoes before anyone stopped him. That is some talent. Imagine if they had been stiletto!